


NUTS

by sasayuri



Category: Block B
Genre: Comedy, Imported, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-11-03 09:39:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10964601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sasayuri/pseuds/sasayuri
Summary: In which one young man and a bowl of nuts make the rest of the group suffer.





	NUTS

**Author's Note:**

> When your friend tells you to write a fic about Block B and nuts, you better do just that.  
> Originally posted on asiafanfics (all the way back in 2013, oh wow, time flies).  
> English is not my native language, so please bear with me!  
> And now, have fun :D

Pyo stared at the bowl that Block B’s leader had placed in the middle of the kitchen table almost an hour earlier. He propped up his head on his right hand, his elbow resting on the dark wooden surface, then seemed to change his mind and let both of his hands fall into his lap, placing his chin on the edge of the table. A frustrated sigh escaped his lips just when someone walked in, heading for the fridge.

“It’s empty,” Pyo grumbled, not even bothering to look up and check which of his group members he was talking to. The door of the refrigerator was opened despite his words.

“Well, there’s… a can of... something,” Yukwon said cluelessly, his voice suggesting that he was frowning.

“Don’t even open it,” Jaehyo who entered just then warned the younger boy. From what Pyo could see from the corner of his eye Jaehyo went over to Yukwon’s side and slammed the fridge shut.

“But I’m hungry!” Yukwon whined, probably puffing his cheeks out.

“You too?” Minhyuk who had appeared out of nowhere asked, although it almost didn’t sound like a question at all. He stood around aimlessly for a moment before he spotted the bowl the maknae’s eyes were still glued to and stretched out his hand.

“DON’T TOUCH THEM!” Everyone except Pyo jerked their heads around to look at Kyung who was standing in the doorframe. Jaehyo winced at the sudden pain in his neck and uttered some curses under his breath as he started to massage the hurting spot with his right hand.

“What the hell, Kyung?” Minhyuk asked, obviously irritated.

“Those are Jiho’s nuts,” the maknae explained lifelessly, causing his four hyungs to look at him with raised eyebrows.

“What?” Jaehyo asked skeptically.

“Are you alright, Pyo?” Yukwon had slightly tilted his head to one side and looked at the youngest member of their group.

“He’s been sulking for about an hour,” Taeil commented, elbowing his way through his friends who were blocking his way to the cupboard that held the pelleted fish food.

“Why?” Minhyuk frowned.

Pyo sighed dramatically. “He won’t let me have his nuts.”

“Taeil?”

“Jiho! Taeil’s only got that weird stuff for his fish.”

“Why don’t you go out and buy some for yourself then?” Jaehyo asked. He didn’t understand the problem at all. The maknae sat up in his chair very slowly. The way his expression darkened made Jaehyo take a careful step back.

“Jiho put the nuts on the table. He said not to touch them. He went out. He locked the door from outside.”

Yukwon’s mouth fell open in disbelief. “We’re locked in here without food? When will he be back? Will he bring us food?”

Pyo slowly shook his head. Yukwon looked like he was about to cry.

“What the hell did you do to him?!” Minhyuk inquired of the youngest, knowing their leader well enough to know that this kind of action was very unusual of him.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Jaehyo intervened with raised hands as if he was preaching a sermon. “He can’t be the only one with a key to our dorm. There’s got to be an easy way out. Now let us think - who’s got the keys?”

Kyung groaned. “I used to have a key. Until I lent it to my best friend. Who never returned it.”

Jaehyo took a deep breath. “Alright. Anybody else?” A deep silence fell over the kitchen.

“Jesus fucking Christ, it’s his fault for leaving us here like this, let’s just eat those damn-“

“NO!” Pyo, Kyung and Taeil shouted in unison.

“What is so special about those nuts?” Minhyuk complained patting Yukwon’s back reassuringly all the while. The younger dancer was clearly distressed due to their current situation.

“Patience,” Pyo said ominously.

“Well, aren’t you mysterious now,” Minhyuk muttered.

“He’s just weird,” Jaehyo concluded.

“Jiho read that strange article a few days back. Something about mental training and metaphors for life and what not,” Kyung remembered. “I bet that gave him some absurd ideas.”

“So those nuts… no, wait, what?” Minhyuk shook his head in confusion.

“But there are different kinds of nuts,” Yukwon observed, “Do they all represent the same thing?”

“How do they even represent anything in the first place?”

“Maybe almonds stand for friendship,” Taeil mused.

“What?”

“What?”

Jaehyo and Taeil stared at each other expressionlessly.

“And peanuts represent death and hatred,” Yukwon hissed causing Minhyuk to chuckle and everyone else to look at him in shock.

“What is wrong with you?” Kyung asked.

“He’s allergic,” Minhyuk said matter-of-factly. Yukwon nodded affirmatively. His disgust towards said kind of nuts clearly showed on his face.

“Oh, right.” The room fell silent once again. Jaehyo sighed and grabbed a chair. He was getting tired of standing around in the middle of the room. Kyung and Taeil followed suit; only Minhyuk and Yukwon remained leaning against the kitchen counter.

“So…” Minhyuk started although he didn’t actually have anything to say.

“Looks like there are mostly hazelnuts,” Kyung said unnecessarily.

“So do hazelnuts represent patience?” Taeil asked.

“And if they do,” Jaehyo butted in, “Do they represent our patience or Jiho’s patience or patience in a general sense?”

“I wonder…” Kyung muttered thoughtfully.

“We’re all going nuts,” Pyo grumbled.

“Oh, was that supposed to be funny?” Jaehyo asked sassily. The maknae glared at him across the table.

“You know, most of those aren’t even nuts in the botanical sense,” Taeil pointed out. Five pairs of eyes looked at him judgingly, but the oldest was too absorbed in examining the big bowl of nuts to notice. “They’re only nuts according to the culinary definition,” he continued.

“Why do you even know stuff like that?” Pyo asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“I read the Wikipedia article about nuts a few weeks ago.”

“Why?” Yukwon asked uncomprehendingly. The older boy merely shrugged.

“Let’s assume we ate them…” Jaehyo looked at each of his present group members. “What would Jiho do to us?”

“You don’t even want to know,” Pyo answered seriously.

“Assuming we didn’t eat all of them-“

“He counted them,” Kyung interrupted immediately.

“You can’t be serious.”

“At this point it wouldn’t even surprise me if he named each and every one,” Minhyuk remarked. “Something like… I don’t know…”

“Harry Hazelnut and Amanda Almond?” Jaehyo suggested.

“Yeah, something like that.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Yukwon said with a grin. “’Harry’ doesn’t even suit hazelnuts.”

“Well, what would you call a hazelnut?” Jaehyo snapped.

The younger boy gave the matter some thought before he answered. “Hugh, maybe? Or Ethan!”

“Ethan’s a nice name,” Taeil commented, completely ignoring the context.

“How are you even my friends,”  Pyo muttered, unconsciously shaking his head. He made the mistake of letting his eyes roam, immediately narrowing them to slits as the bowl of nuts became the center of his view.

“Excuse you?” an offended Kyung said directed towards the youngest. “I don’t see you acting in a way that would make you superior to us.”

“Kyung,” Minhyuk tried to gain the other’s attention while Yukwon and Taeil kept blabbering on about potential names for different kinds of nuts.

“Don’t you think Matthew would be nice for cashews? Oh, and I bet you’d like Yrjö for peanuts!”

“What kind of name is that?” Yukwon asked with a funny expression on his flawless (as Minhyuk thought) face.

“Yeah, what the hell? Ul- Ury- I can’t even pronounce it!” Jaehyo who had been listening to their conversation with utter disapproval written all over his face exclaimed.

“It’s Finnish, look it up,” Taeil replied with an amused grin.

Minhyuk suddenly remembered the other two boys in the room and violently shook his head as if wanting to wake himself up. He really got distracted too easily.

“Stop insulting the maknae, Jaehyo,” he said lethargically. “And you,” he pointed at Pyo, “stop acting so disrespectful towards your hyung.” The two angered group members both opened their mouths at the same time but the dancer didn’t even give them a chance to speak. “Now _don’t_ even think of saying ‘but he started it’ or anything alike because I _will_ -“ The loud rumbling of his own stomach made him stop mid-sentence and let a light shade of pink appear on his cheeks.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “God, I’m hungry,” he whined, barely audible.

“WE ALL ARE!” Pyo and Kyung yelled at him in unison. They exchanged a confused look for a second before grinning at each other widely causing Minhyuk to roll his eyes at them.

“What the hell’s going on in here?”

Everybody turned to the door in shock. There he was, their leader, looking at his group members with an expression that could be read as half worry, half amusement.

“It’s all your fault!” Jaehyo shouted accusingly.

Jiho failed to suppress a grin as he raised his eyebrows at his friend’s outburst.

“Right. Well, anyway, guys-“

“How could you _do_ that to us?” Yukwon asked with a hurt expression. The group’s older dancer immediately started to pat his back reassuringly as he glared daggers at the boy still standing in the doorframe.

“Uhm…”

Pyo jumped up from his seat and slammed his hand on the table, making everyone else except Jiho flinch. “You and your stupid nuts! Locking us in, letting us starve and get mad because of some psycho patience whatever voodoo sh-“

“Oh my God,” the leader said with a stunned look on his face before he suddenly burst into roaring laughter. “I can’t- you actually- oh my God,” he brought out incoherently. Trying to calm down he wiped away the tears in his eyes and took a deep breath but seeing the confused faces of his friends he immediately started laughing hysterically again. “I’m sorry, I just-“ He desperately gasped for air in between his fits of laughter that shook his whole body, not being able to respond to the angry words of his group members in any way. The leader kept on switching between chuckling lightly and almost dying from laughter for another five minutes before he finally managed to gather himself and actually speak in full sentences.

“Hah, that was great, I don’t remember the last time I laughed so much,” Jiho giggled (almost cutely, Kyung thought, but he was still angry at the older boy, of course).

“What is wrong with you?!! Jaehyo snapped. “You made all of us suffer and here you are-“

“I never locked the door,” the leader said as calmly as possible, “Did you even try to open it?“

The blonde boy casually walked over to the table, ignoring the furious stares and unbelieving _WHAT_ s of the remaining six boys, and picked out a particularly nicely shaped hazelnut. Yukwon’s eyes widened in horror and he didn’t think twice before he jumped at Jiho trying to prevent the worst from happening but when his hand clasped around the leader’s pale wrist it was already too late. Jiho had swallowed Ethan.

“Ethan,” Yukwon whispered, clearly horrified. He let go of Jiho’s arm and fell to his knees. “No…” Tears pooled in his eyes; his lips were trembling dangerously. Minhyuk immediately rushed to his side and started talking at him appeasingly. “Shhht, it's okay, baby, he's in a better place now," he assured in a soothing voice.

"BUT HE'S IN JIHO'S STOMACH!" Yukwon cried uncontrollably, terrifying his best friend who was anything but able to cope with the current situation.

Jaehyo watched them from his place, blindly taking a couple of nuts into his hand. Looking down at his palm a satisfied smile appeared on his face. “Harry Hazelnut and Amanda Almond. So we meet again.” He didn’t hesitate to place the snack in his mouth and chew the two nuts with utmost pleasure.

The spark in the vocalist’s eyes scared Taeil who inconspicuously left the table to get as far away as possible – or to the living room at least, so that he could finally feed his dearest fish.

Making sure that nobody was watching him Pyo grabbed the bowl of nuts in one quick motion and ran off to the bathroom, turning the key and laughing victoriously behind the locked door before he stuffed his cheeks with the long desired snack.

Jiho remained standing in the kitchen, utterly dumbfounded. “I brought chicken, guys,” he said halfheartedly, but nobody heard him.


End file.
